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Three guys who discuss movies on Lifetime and The Hallmark Channel and try to make sense of them all. Also, Blac Chyna news. And pop culture.
Episodes
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Friday Dec 06, 2019
Les, Kurt, and Jason get the low-down on Les' Duran Duran-belting (now former) neighbor and a gushing Blac Chyna, before Jason realizes that Kurt is being tricked into advertising for products including body butter and Patti LaBelle's Sweet Potato Pie. As Kurt FINALLY starts to warm to the idea of watching Hallmark movies, he embraced it even more as he completed a Hallmark Puzzle (giving an angel his wings). On this episode, Hallmark favorite Lacey Chabert is back in Christmas in Rome, a movie which was shot on location in Italy. Lacey plays a character that gets ROPED (that's definitely the word Jason wrote in his notes) into helping a fellow American make his way though the city armed with Vespas, business plans as foreplay, and all of the Connies.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Tuesday Dec 03, 2019
Tuesday Dec 03, 2019
This week, Les, Kurt, and Jason tackle Radio Christmas, a Lifetime movie that took some pretty generous liberties with what Christmas is like on the radio in Bethlehem, PA. Jason should know... he got his start on the radio in the Bethlehem area. (Fun fact not mentioned on the podcast: The Rock graduated high school in Bethlehem, PA). Beyond Jason's repeated angry outbursts (but seriously, Bethlehem is a city just 45 MINUTES AWAY from Philadelphia), we also suspect that Kurt is doing ads on the side for Blac Chyna's makeup line. Les also thinks he's pegged the actress that plays Keshia Knight Pulliam's boss as being Kurt's type. Sure, Les may be ageist, and the roughly 75,000 residents of Bethlehem should ALL be out there with shovels, but the one thing we may never know is just how many dark secrets ancillary character Warren is hiding.
Also: Christmas Pickle.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Tuesday Nov 26, 2019
Tuesday Nov 26, 2019
Les, Kurt, and Jason ask the age old question: Is it really a Hanukkah movie if it's actually about Christmas? You'll likely find out on a future episode, but this week's show is all about Hallmark Channel's "A Perfect Christmas," a holiday movie that makes us pit Mansplaining against Straightsplaining even as the guys engage in a spirited game of A Lifetime of Hallmark Bingo (June Squibb for the win, obviously!). Also debatable: whether one can return a Christmas tree to the Christmas tree farm, especially in a world where one's cable television bill is valued more than other household necessities and fat babies are shamed even as they eat the graham crackers that are supposed to be used to build a more affordable gingerbread house.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Tuesday Nov 19, 2019
Tuesday Nov 19, 2019
In this bonus episode, Les, Kurt, and Jason skip watching a movie in favor of dissecting ChristmasCon, the huge Hallmark fan celebration that took place in New Jersey earlier this month. With Kurt reporting from a La Quinta Fitness Center Broadcast Center in the middle of America, we learn that he doesn't like stationary eating, that the ChristmasCon floor plan is a lot like a haphazard Idea, and that "Song of the South" is still super-racist. Plus, a debate wages over how many birthday parties is too many, we learn that Les voted for Sanjaya on American Idol, and that Lori Loughlin missed an opportunity to stage a counter fan event called LoughlinCon.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Tuesday Nov 12, 2019
Tuesday Nov 12, 2019
Les, Kurt, and Jason recap their Halloweens and talk (as always) about Blac Chyna before dissecting the Lifetime movie "My Wife's Secret Life." Things you need to know about the movie: it's not nearly as off-the-charts crazy as we hoped, the husband in the film is a whiny bitch, and the guys aren't sure if the plot is based on a true story or not. The movie does open up some pretty solid debates: Dieting vs. Cheating, Laurel vs. Yanni, and Aerosmith vs. Aerospace. Plus, how many theme parks are too many? That's just one of many topics that could be covered on a good lady chat show.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Monday Oct 28, 2019
Monday Oct 28, 2019
This Halloween, Les Kurkendaal-Boo-ret, Kurt Frightzpatrick, and Jason Boo-wers tackle Les' biggest fear: watching a Hallmark movie he didn't like (even though he's the one that picked it). That movie is "Good Witch: Curse from a Rose," and it's not really a movie as much an episode of a long-running series neither Kurt nor Les knew existed. Before diving into the movie, though, the guys celebrate Felicity Huffman's early release from prison and ponder what's next from Lori Loughlin (with help from Wendy Williams seemingly large network of prison sources). Kurt has some Blac Cyna news (obviously), and then they get into the movie which was not quite the witch movie Les was hoping for despite letting one weigh in on the sex appeal of both Eric Roberts and Frankenstien's monster. The movie is certainly no Bewitched starring Elizabeth Montgomery, nor is it Bewitched starring Elizabeth Warren. But it does manage to include a kid that repeatedly c**kblocks his dad, a search for a Loch Ness monster-type creature, and Jason's new favorite YouTube obsession: PEOPLE KAYAKING IN PUMPKINS. Wonder no more if aromatherapy is witchcraft because the answer is YES.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Friday Oct 18, 2019
Friday Oct 18, 2019
Les is excited that Christmas movies are coming soon, Jason is excited to watch Killer Contractor, and Kurt is excited by the prospect of murdering someone by not building a structure to code. Then, before doing a breakdown of this week's movie, the guys objectify some presidential candidates, as one does. And finally, they get to The College Admissions Scandal, Lifetime's Ripped-from-the-headlines take on the scandal that is the very bread and butter of this podcast. But make no mistake, this is totally not about Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman, William H. Macy, Olivia Jade and Rick Singer. Except it really totally IS about them (especially Rick Singer), only with different names and some un-good proof of soccer. Because you're gay for the stay of this episode, you'll find out that Kurt witnessed Cousin Larry's anger at an un-muted cell phone, Les did NOT do time with Heidi Fleiss, Jason almost talked a friend in declaring mutiny on Disney's The Jungle Cruise, and all three weigh the differences between polyamory and polygamy!
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Wednesday Oct 09, 2019
Wednesday Oct 09, 2019
Les, Kurt, and Jason return after Kurt's return from Europe where he neglected to look into the Louvre's backpack policy and was shamed for his poor joint-rolling skills! In the Blac Chyna Report, the guys find out that her date was feasting on more than the bottomless bread sticks, and in the Loughlin Report, Jason questions why Kurt isn't report live from Boston as planned. After Les reveals his Halloween costume idea (Sexy Whistleblower), they jump into the discussion about Hallmark's "A Brush with Love," another film in the Peter Deluise Cinematic Universe featuring vision boards (so many vision boards, seriously, they can't stop talking about them!), donuts (so many donuts, seriously, they can't stop talking about them), a woman that should've been played by Jackee but wasn't. Note to self: don't ever throw paint on Les.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Tuesday Sep 24, 2019
Tuesday Sep 24, 2019
On this episode, Les, Kurt, and Jason tackle a Lifetime update of a Jane Austen book... what could go wrong? But first, Les Fitzpatrick is tired, Kurt Kurkendall Barrett is marveled at the omnipresence of ads for walk-in bathtubs (especially the one used by Eric Roberts) and Kurt's arcane reference of Cherry Jones lead to Jason's only-in-LA story of taking photos with Cherry's Emmy inside is own home. They finally dive into Pride and Prejudice Atlanta, a Lifetime update of the Jane Austen book set in present day and starring Jackee, Reginald VelJohnson, and Rudy and Cockroach from The Cosby Show. The source material has a lot of characters to navigate for what is typically mindless Lifetime fare, but the creative team stuck the landing and delivered an actually good movie. Sure, the it could've benefited from Shirley Jones pulling up in the Partridge Family bus whilst listening to her favorite radio program Drucilla and Cockroach in the Morning, but it still gives the guys opportunities to reference Crocodile Dundee and JFK Jr.'s many attempts at passing the Bar Exam... and to find out that Kurt once saw Danger Mouse without his head!
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com
Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
Tuesday Aug 27, 2019
Les, Kurt, and Jason deliver some Blac Chyna and Lori Loughlin news, but they waste no time dissecting Hallmark's Christmas with a Prince, a movie so bad that Les didn't care about the missed opportunity for a makeover montage, Kurt's wish of the movie ending came true just in time, and Jason made a face after a line of dialogue so cringe-worthy that you've got to see it to believe it (on Instagram @lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast). But despite it's shortcomings, this movie takes giant swings for a Hallmark movie, most notably its level of hordoggedness (including a round of TRUTH OR DARE between adults and children cancer patients). So take a single sip of warm bear, kick up your broken leg that nobody's allowed to know about, and try to enjoy the ensuing career defining performance of a singer you've likely never heard of unless you're Canadian.
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Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com