A Lifetime of Hallmark

Deranged Granny Bakes an Apple Pie Full of Poison and Cable Ace Awards

September 23, 2020

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back in the dojo and all equally obsessed with Cobra Kai, especially the fact that Kim Fields is a presence in season 2 (or, as Jason calls it, season Tootie!). Les tells the other guys that Kim was on a season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta but left because she’s not ratchet (and Kurt learns what that means). After an in-depth discussion of the Chris Evans photo that won the internet (Jason doesn’t want a Hulk penis, btw, but would like a Thor hammer), it’s time to dig into Lifetime’s Deranged Granny. Starring 4-time Cable Ace-winning pescatarian Wendy Malick, this movie had all the potential to be completely off the rails insane, but plays it (somewhat) closer to the vest. What it lacks in overly absurd plot twists, it more than makes up for in experimental cinematography fit for a director’s reel. Malick’s character Barbara bakes! And cooks! And poisons! Though it’s not hard to be evil when your son is a Pansy Paul Rudd, and your daughter in law’s ex has a lightning quick digestive system, even if that doesn’t leave her enough poison to deal with her implied massive rat problem. 


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