A Lifetime of Hallmark
Ruthless Realtor Sells Us on a Weekend Getaway in Santa Clarita Where One Can Mount a Pregnancy Test at the Frame Store

Ruthless Realtor Sells Us on a Weekend Getaway in Santa Clarita Where One Can Mount a Pregnancy Test at the Frame Store

October 7, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason do their first-ever topless podcast (at least Les is). For the second week in a row, Jason is super skeptical of Kurt’s Blac Chyna report claiming Chyna is earning $20-million on OnlyFans, and Tokyo Toni agrees! Then the guys put in a bid for Lifetime’s Ruthless Realtor featuring a potential villain named Meg (NUTMeg) that is the girl at the audition that everyone tries to sit on the other side of the room to get away from. But Meg knows that a Brisket is a powerful tool, so powerful that Les thinks Kurt could date her, off-putting beret and all (Even Monica Lewinsky couldn’t ROCK one). See this movie if only to witness the new advancements in the way victims are drugged in a Lifetime movie and to learn about the law through post-it notes. 

 

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BONUS: A Deep Dive on the 1989 Jackee TV Pilot

BONUS: A Deep Dive on the 1989 Jackee TV Pilot

October 3, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after an extended break of dealing with many personal and professional ups and downs. But to make it up to the faithful listeners, the guys decided to jump back into the grind with a very special BONUS episode about Jackee, the 1989 pilot for a spinoff of 227! But first, the guys debate whether it’s Evan possible that Blac Chyna earned 240 million last year on OnlyFans. Then it’s time to watch the pilot (at 1.25 speed for Jason!). Sure, Sandra is more likable since she’s running an Italian restaurant out of her apartment, but it sucks that her new job working in the porn industry is cut short so she can work at a combination gym and nail salon (these are actual details!). With a wardrobe from Chess King, a surly receptionist, and a cameo from Pearl, it’s a wonder that this wasn’t picked up to series!

 

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Keeping up with the Joneses: The Wrong Nemesis is not Theodore Rex, He’s Theodore NEXT with Meredith Thomas

Keeping up with the Joneses: The Wrong Nemesis is not Theodore Rex, He’s Theodore NEXT with Meredith Thomas

July 26, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason welcome back very good friend of the show Meredith Thomas back to talk about her latest project. Meredith is Lifetime Royalty at this point, so it’s exciting that she’s now making moves behind the camera as the Second Unit Director for Keeping up with the Joneses. Kurt has some Blac Chyna news that Meredith and all of us are trying to wrap our head around (Courage). Then it’s time for Keeping up with the Joneses: The Wrong Nemesis (the first episode of season 2). Les schools everyone on great deployment of the soap trope “you never find a body.” There’s a lot of references to the “Whoopi Goldberg did a movie with a dinosaur” film Theodore Rex. Plus, with an expanded hoodie budget, (somewhat surprisingly) no welding, and shady money exchanges that feel like selling something through Craigslist, this movie is the right catalyst to teach us that sexism even persists in the boys’ club of ecoterrorists. Lesson learned: landladies can be spies, too. 

 

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Catherine Bell at a Casual Prison with No Boundaries Means She’ll become Jailbreak Lovers with a Guy that Plays the Ukelele

Catherine Bell at a Casual Prison with No Boundaries Means She’ll become Jailbreak Lovers with a Guy that Plays the Ukelele

July 8, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason may (or may not) have survived the Fourth of July, but the jury is still out whether they survived this week’s Lifetime movie “Jailbreak Lovers.” But first, Kurt shares the incredibly riveting news that Blac Chyna Drinks 2 cups of coffee a day! Listener Lisa contacted us to let us know she enjoyed our banter about notaries, and Les’ sister Anita contacted Les to thank Kurt and Jason for saving Les’ life! Then, the guys don't beat around the bush (though someone should) when it comes to this ripped-from-the-headlines (and Dateline NBC) movie about Toby Dorr and John Maynard. The guys think Catherine Bell is far too attractive to be the dupe in this particular set of circumstances. That could have been fixed by some haircuts and dye rather than a sketch comedy old person wig that doesn’t get used. Ironically, it’s not the old person wig that has Les thinking one of the characters looks like George Washington (not Thomas Edison… and definitely Ben Franklin, oops). A good disguise also didn’t stop these characters from being genuine morons (as was the case in the real life story as well). But, honestly, anyone could break out of a prison that disciplines inmates with the honor system. 

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Caribbean Summer Should Not Be Watched or Recapped Whilst Driving a Car in a Thunderstorm

Caribbean Summer Should Not Be Watched or Recapped Whilst Driving a Car in a Thunderstorm

June 28, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after a longer than expected break after Les attempted to recap the movie while he was driving through Texas in a thunderstorm because he is a multi-talker that also once took a Covid test from behind the wheel. Kurt delivers some Blac Chyna news that has something for all of us! Then, the guys enjoy a  Caribbean Summer, Hallmark style. If you’ve got a foot fetish, this movie is for you! If you’re into how news interviews, this movie is NOT for you! If you’ve long not cared about the Taylor Ham vs. Pork Roll debate, this movie is ALSO not for you! This movie shows some skin and gives us risqué dialogue. But nothing is more shocking than the fact that the family in Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer sent back Grandma’s gifts after her tragic reindeer trampling. 

 

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Killer Grades Are Given for Aging Out of Being a Twink (like Menudo)

Killer Grades Are Given for Aging Out of Being a Twink (like Menudo)

June 6, 2022

Killer Grades Are Given for Aging Out of Being a Twink (like Menudo)

 

Les, Kurt, and Jason are still in the afterglow of their interview with the PornHub Math Teacher (check out the bonus episode that was released just before this episode), but they’re here to explore the way the Amityville Intellectual Property is being exploited. Plus, Les and Jason explain to Kurt (in a very quiet soothing tone) what ASMR is. Then Kurt delivers A LOT of Blac Chyna news (She’s being sued! She’s doing celebrity boxing!) And, of course, the guys have to dissect a movie, and Killer Grades from Lifetime certainly offers a lot to discuss. If you’re looking for intense nerds, Gremlins rules for dosing drugs, and an Academic Decathlon that makes an MMA fight seem quaint, then you’ve found the right movie (and the right podcast). 

 

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BONUS: Interview with the PornHub Math Teacher

BONUS: Interview with the PornHub Math Teacher

June 3, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are incredibly excited to talk to one of their bucket-list interview subjects (no, not Blac Chyna): the PornHub Math Teacher, Chang Hsu! The guys have been (not-so) low-key obsessed ever since they learned that there was someone teaching math (and making a good amount of money doing it) by uploading his SFW videos to PornHub. Maybe it’s his Master’s in Mathematics, or maybe it’s his play hard study hard ethos. Either way, he’s found a truly unique way to incentivize learning! You can find Chang Hsu on TikTok and (yes) PornHub @Changhsumath666.

 

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Pretty Little Dead Girl Has Low Blood Sugar and Lots of Lingerie but No Black Hoodie

Pretty Little Dead Girl Has Low Blood Sugar and Lots of Lingerie but No Black Hoodie

May 9, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back together, figuratively, as Les is in Ireland while Kurt holds things down in New Jersey and Jason does the same in California. The guys have a lot to get to including the biggest Blac Chyna news report ever, and the fact that Les and Jason get to meet a ton of Lifetime stars at a screening of The Wrong Blind Date (Jason even wore a black hoodie for the occasion). Then Kurt and Jason recap Lifetime Movie Network’s “Pretty Little Dead Girl” for Les (since he can’t watch the movie in Ireland). Les, without even having seen the movie, already senses trouble when he finds out there’s no black hoodie in this movie. Nor is there any baby switching of swapping of identities despite plot points that would have made either somewhat plausible. The movie, though, does feature people tweaking out on Diet Coke (probably), others experiencing low blood sugar for turning down a cookie that ISN’T stupid, and… a twist. Plus a schmaltzy ending. 

 

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Love, Classified has Pansexuals, Heavy Drinking, and Even Feet Stuff

Love, Classified has Pansexuals, Heavy Drinking, and Even Feet Stuff

May 4, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason gather to discuss what may very well be Hallmark’s most progressive movie ever. But first, there’s big news about Candace Cameron Bure post-Hallmark. And there’s even bigger news about the Blac Chyna / Kardashian trial (Tokyo Toni isn’t allowed in the courtroom… but Jason almost was, maybe). Then it’s time to peruse Love, Classified, a Hallmark movie starring Melora Hardin (aka Jan from The Office, and she who was cast and then fired from the role of Jennifer in the Back to the Future movies). The movie also stars Max Lloyd Jones (from Hallmark’s When Calls the Heart, and who used to work with Jason!) If you’re looking about a movie revolving around a much nicer version of the Next Door app, then you’ve found it… especially if you also want that movie to touch on pansexuality, intense grief, estranged family, and an almost date between mother and son! This movie is a big swing from Hallmark, so much so that Les thinks it’s his favorite Hallmark movie ever. 

 

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Fatal Fandom has Twinks, Tacos, Crickets, and Death by Bandana

Fatal Fandom has Twinks, Tacos, Crickets, and Death by Bandana

April 16, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason get the to bottom of a very important question: Does Les think Nash Bridges is hot? (Spoiler: yes). But that doesn’t make Redd Foxx a Silver Fox. Then it’s time to celebrate Kurt’s birthday with a new manicure (Blac Chyna got one,) and (eventually) some cake. After jumping into a Ryan Seacrest / McLean Stevenson / David Caruso / Shelly Long rabbit hole, the guys finally get to Fatal Fandom, the Lifetime Movie Network movie that may have changed Kurt’s life. This movie has grapefruits with salt and the loudest tacos and crickets ever heard on film. There’s also shirtless working out (which could have just have easily been shirtless computer work) and special instructions to give your Grubhub driver if you’re stalking someone. Go to Encino to get your blazer, because we have a nice hot fudge sundae for you!

 

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