A Lifetime of Hallmark
BONUS EPISODE: Christina DeRosa from Drowning in Secrets Is NOT Alyssa Milano but IS Helping Female Directors, Writers, and Producers

BONUS EPISODE: Christina DeRosa from Drowning in Secrets Is NOT Alyssa Milano but IS Helping Female Directors, Writers, and Producers

April 5, 2022

On this special Bonus Episode the guys welcome Actress / Producer / Good Human Christina DeRosa from Lifetime Movie Network’s Drowning in Secrets. Christina is at the top of the call sheet now, and she’s schooling Les, Kurt, and Jason on Situational Awareness (she talks to the extras!). Plus, Christina is gonna make Jason’s gay teen heartthrob dreams come true while also confirming that she is NOT Jennifer Beals (nor is she Alyssa Milano). Christina also checks some Susan Lucci fandom boxes for Les, and lets Kurt know that Little Orphan Annie was NOT in the Wizard of Oz with Natalie Portman (but Christina was!) Please check out a charity near and dear to Christina’s heart, fastfoward.org and check out Christina on Instagram and TikTok @actresschristinaderosa. 

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A Little Daytime Drama Can Happen When You’re Not Actually Hiking to the Hollywood Sign

A Little Daytime Drama Can Happen When You’re Not Actually Hiking to the Hollywood Sign

April 2, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back and ready to talk about some Blac Chyna drama, some Will Smith / Chris Rock / Jada Pinkett-Smith Oscars drama, and the Hallmark movie A Little Daytime Drama. Before you watch the movie, you should seriously go look up clips of the early 90’s talk show Attitudes to really soak in some peak Linda Dano and Nancy Glass (or look up clips from SNL of Nora Dunn and Jan Hooks). Then, you’ll be primed for this soap opera-set movie that has a questionable understanding of Los Angeles and Hollywood geography, how many pages of script a soap can film in a day, and how a dog’s reaction means that the characters have been… intimate. If this movie isn’t for you, you can always look at the content on PosthumusPorn.com. 

 

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Drowning in Secrets Star Laura Poe is Grilled about Empty Cups, Search Party Food Platters, and Shetland Ponies

Drowning in Secrets Star Laura Poe is Grilled about Empty Cups, Search Party Food Platters, and Shetland Ponies

March 24, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason welcome special guest Laura Poe to talk about her Lifetime movie Drowning in Secrets! Laura is nursing many broken bones after a snowmobiling accident, but is still very game to talk about her movie, Blac Chyna news, and the (seemingly sudden) popularity of this podcast in Australia! Plus, Kurt lets Jason know that he’s mad because Jason (seemingly) unleashed ghosts on him (see last week’s podcast). Then they all get in the water with Drowning in Secrets, a movie featuring sisters that clearly don’t communicate well with each other, fabulous pearls and Burberry umbrellas, former teen heartthrobs David Chokachi and Jason London, and a crash course in Gaslighting 101. This movie also features a hint of Prince’s fashion sense mixed with some Billionaire Boys Club preppy hotness as well as some relaxing coffee and Yankee Candles.

 

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If Walls Could Talk They’d Tell Meghan Markle Jr. About Amityville in Space

If Walls Could Talk They’d Tell Meghan Markle Jr. About Amityville in Space

March 19, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason return after a few weeks off, and they have a lot to catch up on, Les was recognized for his work whilst nude! Kurt heard back from the PornHub math teacher (he actually heard back months ago, but didn’t check Twitter)! Jason sent a friend a neon fruit sign! Then, they dive right into Lifetime’s If Walls Could Talk featuring a house that may be haunted by someone not terribly concerned with the drought. The guys were super excited to see the movie since it features friend-of-the-pod Meredith Thomas doing fantastic nosy neighbor work here (and concerned neighbor, too). Meredith, of course, has fantastic outfits (teaching Kurt about Laura Petrie). Jason, on the other hand, was so concerned about the casket carrying in the movie that he actually found a blog with tips on how to carry one!  If this house is haunted, Kurt will not be living there because he does not have the time, he’s too busy watching Amityville in Space!

 

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Allison Sweeney, Lacey Chabert, and Autumn Reeser Assemble Again for The Wedding Veil Legacy, This Time It’s Personal

Allison Sweeney, Lacey Chabert, and Autumn Reeser Assemble Again for The Wedding Veil Legacy, This Time It’s Personal

February 27, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are the podcast equivalent of Lacey Chabert, Autumn Reeser, and Allison Sweeney, only the guys aren’t sharing a wedding veil (you gotta listen to the pod to see what they think guys would share amongst themselves). But first, Kurt has some opinions on the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood (not to be confused with The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants), and some big Blac Chyna news. Then Les claims that a trend that started on an episode of Seinfeld is now growing in the real world. But then it’s time for the guys to once again put on The Wedding Veil for Hallmark’s The Wedding Veil Legacy (this time it’s personal). Among other things, it features a (possibly) racist Nonna and a character that may be luring young children with the promise of historical poetry. What this movie lacks in some much-needed face tattoos, it more than makes up for in fabulous turtlenecks and squirting cannoli cream. And at the end of the day, it all makes for a solid episode of Hallmark Movies and Mysteries' new romantic dramedy Wedding Veil and Tux. 

 

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The Wedding Veil Unveiled Autumn Reeser, Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Hallmark’s Most Scandalous Plot Point Ever

The Wedding Veil Unveiled Autumn Reeser, Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Hallmark’s Most Scandalous Plot Point Ever

February 16, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason had a celebrity-filled weekend, which included Les hanging with our friend Meredith Thomas and meeting The Wrong Valentine himself. If he comes on the podcast, Child Protective Services may be notified if there are too many June Squibb references. Kurt once did a student film with future Oscars host Amy Schumer. And Jason watched the Super Bowl mere feet from former NFL player Michael Sam. But none of that is nearly as exciting (or racist) as Rob Kardashian possibly thinking that he’s Mexican as the Blac Chyna trial is about to heart up. Then, the guys dissect the 2nd movie in Hallmark’s Wedding Veil trilogy, The Wedding Veil Unveiled. This movie features a plot point that, by Hallmark standards, is pretty scandalous… and In this movie it’s something to be celebrated. Plus, is Emma the stalker? Are there people in this town really turned on by lace? Is there truly such a thing as Brimley fatigue? The guys will break it down in an incredibly riveting Power Point presentation. 

 

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Single Black Female Brings Wind Chimes and a Head in a Bag to Crazy Girls

Single Black Female Brings Wind Chimes and a Head in a Bag to Crazy Girls

February 11, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason talk about the upcoming Super Bowl and all the related parties in Jason’s neighborhood, reminding Kurt that he needs to have cake at the Abbey while Les films everyone’s reactions. In lieu of Blac Chyna news, it’s time for a Blac Chyna quiz! Then the guys have opinions about Lifetime’s "Single Black Female," a kinda-sorta-but-not-really remake of the movie “Single White Female.” What this movie lacks in shared DNA with the original, it more than makes up for with the presence of the original Aunt Viv from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Did they film the movie’s lone romantic date in the hallway leading to the bathroom of a strip club? Probably. Is there a severed head in a bag that is a different race than the person who was killed? Likely. Did some parents accidentally get their kids chloroform for Christmas instead of Chloroforms? Of course!

 

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Pyscho Storm Chaser Is Responsible for the Castaways on Gilligan’s Island Because Employment Law Allows for Murdering During Your Break

Pyscho Storm Chaser Is Responsible for the Castaways on Gilligan’s Island Because Employment Law Allows for Murdering During Your Break

February 4, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason have the perfect movie to watch during the winter storms: Lifetime Movie Network’s “Psycho Storm Chaser.” Everyone is being affected by massive winter storms at the moment, except maybe the podcast’s Lithuanian listener.  Come visit the country of Bullsh**tia, home of crazy adoption stories and Blac Chyna news that will help you with the Lifetime of Hallmark drinking game. You’ll definitely be cheering this week’s truly insane movie where the killer’s motive is to teach people a lesson for not heeding the advice of their local meteorologist (seriously, that’s actually the motivation here). This killer then goes on the FRAME the weather for his crimes, leading you down a super deep Gilligan’s Island rabbit hole where you’ll wonder if those castaways were exiled to that island by the Psycho Stormchaser himself. In a town that needs to have a serious reckoning with the labor movement, only Woody Allen and a possibly former pole-dancing coma patient know the real score. 

 

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Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Autumn Reeser Pull back The Wedding Veil to Reveal The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants without the Pants

Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Autumn Reeser Pull back The Wedding Veil to Reveal The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants without the Pants

January 27, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason give their thoughts on this week’s movie before their opening theme song is even complete, but first dive right into some Blac Chyna news that checks all the boxes. Then, the guys are ready for the first in a new trilogy of Hallmark films, “The Wedding Veil.” Starring Lacey Chabert, Allison Sweeney, and Autumn Reeser, only this expansion of the Hallmark Cinematic Universe could shine a well-deserved spotlight on a Grady from Sanford and Son Masterclass and a realization about Wilfred Brimley that Les is NOT happy to learn (and it has nothing to do with oatmeal, vodka, or cocaine… or the cease and desist that may follow. Do not cease from sending us your Mac and Cheese recipes, though, for it pairs wonderfully with an array of cakes and pies at couples therapy on your first date. 

 

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The Wrong Blind Date with Special Guest Meredith Thomas is Lifetime’s Lady in Waiting to Queen Vivica A. Fox

The Wrong Blind Date with Special Guest Meredith Thomas is Lifetime’s Lady in Waiting to Queen Vivica A. Fox

January 19, 2022

Les, Kurt, and Jason are incredibly excited to welcome back friend of the podcast Meredith Thomas (@meredithactress) to talk about her starring role in Lifetime’s The Wrong Blind Date. A psychic didn’t tell Meredith that she’d be doing the wrong movies, but they did tell us that the Blac Chyna reporting would once again get slightly more violent than the last time we heard the story. This episode is a MUST-LISTEN for fans of Lifetime and Lifetime Movie Network (LMN) as Meredith Thomas has appeared (so far) in 30 movies for Lifetime, second only to the Queen, Vivica A. Fox. In addition to Meredith, this episode also features an appearance from an important prop from the movie! Plus, the guys get exclusives about the pandemic’s effects on the movie’s wardrobe (more of Meredith’s own amazing wardrobe, less shirts for the guys) and food (no onscreen cake for the offscreen catering). And, there are pitches to for many other Wrong movies including The Wrong Construction Site, The Wrong Soap Star, The Wrong Podcasts Hosts, The Wrong Sperm Donor, and The Wrong Vagina. 

 

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