A Lifetime of Hallmark

Lacey Chabert Finds An Unexpected Valentine In a Hallmark Movie that Doesn’t Take Place in a Small Town

Les, Kurt, and Jason are sweet on this week’s Valentine's Day movie for successfully breaking from the typical Hallmark formula in so many ways. But first, TheGrapeJuice.net is your new second favorite source for Blac Chyna news (after this podcast), and they know that Tokyo Toni is stirring it up with GloRilla. Then, the guys hop in the (not) Uber of An Unexpected Valentine. This movie doesn’t just extend Lacey Chabert’s reign as the queen of Hallmark, it solidifies it even while straying from the norms: the entire movie takes place on a single day, in a big city, showing us in real time how the couple falls for each other. Grab your chocolate purse and be ready to accept the proposal before being mesmerized by fireworks. 

 

Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

My Sister’s Serial Killer Boyfriend Wore a Black Hoodie to Travel to Atlanta from the Upper or Lower Midwest

Les, Kurt, and Jason are amping up for Oscar season by discussing more of the nominated movies they’ve seen… and this offering from Lifetime. But first, Blac Chyna is upset with Tristian Thompson referring to Dream as his daughter (which seems even more insane choking someone with a charging cable. Then, the guys get in the sandbox (figuratively, there definitely was no sandbox in this movie) to discuss Lifetime’s My Sister’s Serial Killer Boyfriend. Even if you’re duped by a Danny J. Boyle, you’ll immediately spot that this features graduate-level work from the Park Ranger Academy of the Dramatic Arts that may finally solve why the cops in Lifetime movies never want to do their jobs: because they dumped after falling in love from bathroom sex. 

 

Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Emma Roberts Goes on a Holidate with Kristen Chenoweth in a Hard R Romantic Comedy that did not feature Ryan Gosling or Erma Bombeck

Les, Kurt and Jason are back to check in with each other because there’s been a lot going on… and because Les and Kurt finally saw Demi Moore’s face in her butt (because they saw The Substance). If the same thing happened to Kurt, he thinks a dermatologist may want Kurt to explain why it happened… but Jason thinks that would most certainly be the dermatologist’s job. Then the guys dream cast that the perfect face talking from our butts on this should should be Blac Chyna, who thinks that Cardi B should be talking of HER butt when it comes to Offset. Then, the guys are ready to talk about the 2020 Netflix movie Holidate. Les picked the movie thinking it would be very much in the wheelhouse of this podcast, but it turns out that Holidate is a broad hard R romantic comedy in which we get to see Kristen Chenoweth play very much against type, a father daughter dance at a wedding done to a very inappropriate song choice, and some very unnecessary bowel movement sound effects. This movie did not (despite some confusion) feature Ryan Gosling OR Erma Bombeck.

 

Bluesky: lifetimeofhallmark

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Lindsay Lohan and Kristin Chenoweth Let a Little B**ch Altar Boy in on Our Little Secret, and it Looks a Lot Like the Head of Doris Roberts

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back for their first show of 2025, but have to catch up on their time away and of course the Wildfires in Los Angeles. 2025 has been the longest year ever, and we’re only halfway through January! Then Kurt delivers some Blac Chyna news that seems to point to there being plenty more Blac Chyna news for years to come! Then, even though the holidays are over, the guys are eager to talk about Netflix’s Lindsay Lohan and Kristin Chenoweth movie Our Little Secret. Could the movie have handled Dementia a bit more sensitively? Sure! Does the movie feature Stranger Things in a passing of time montage that should have become a full-on Netflix sizzle real? Also sure! With Tim Meadows, Chris Parnell, Deby Reyes, and Dan Bucatinsky and a douchey 18-ish Ronan Farrow (ish), this one is worth a watch. 

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

A Nurse to Die For Better Watch Her Back Cuz Caryn Richman is a Badass Gidget

Les, Kurt, and Jason are incredibly excited to welcome special guest Caryn Richman @carynrichman) to this week’s show! Caryn isn’t just a regular fixture in the Lifetime cinematic universe, she is also part of the Brady and Gidget cinematic universes, too. Yes, the guys have LOTS of Brady questions for her, and yes Caryn is absolutely delighted to answer them all! Plus, now Caryn knows where to go for all things Blac Chyna related! Then, they talk about 2023’s Lifetime movie “A Nurse to Die For” which features some bad snooping, a bunch of burner phones being used to low-key audition for SNL, and Caryn in a truly badass role that actually sent her to the hospital in real life! This episode is a must listen!

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Homegoods and Nutella Help Danny Pellegrino Deck the Walls with Kate Casey

Les, Kurt, and Jason welcome back their friend Kate Casey from the Reality Life with Kate Casey Podcast. Not only is Kate an expert in all things reality and unscripted, but she's also friends with the writer and one of the stars of this week's movie, Hallmarks' Deck the Walls! But first, Kate and Les tell Jason and Kurt about Later Daters, then everyone talks about those mysterious drones that may or may not be aliens buying supplies at HomeGoods. Then, this week's Blac Chyna news sparks the question: What's up with all of these celebrities allegedly trafficking people?!?! Then it's time to dig into the movie, and talk about how exciting to see a fellow podcaster (Danny Pellegrino hosts Everything Iconic) writing and starring in a big Hallmark movie, a longtime dream of his! Sure there are precocious kids that are a little extra, but there's also sexual tension through cable knit sweaters and talk of therapy! And, we also learn that Kurt used to read Dan Savage and that Kate does not like being ambushed by a musical number. So brown your creme brule with a lighter (not a blow torch), because you've got a movie to watch!

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

It’s a Make or Bake Christmas for Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, and Seasonal Floaters Who Shouldn’t be Doing Karaoke or Espionage

Les, Kurt, and Jason watched their first Lifetime movie this Holiday Season, but almost didn’t get to talk about it (thanks Mercury in retrograde!) But first, Jason had a onesie party, and Les got a Magic Bullet while Jason got a Jesus Ouija board! Plus, someone from Les’ church listens to our podcast, so they’ll be happy to know that Tokyo Toni was stirring up drama in Kurt’s Black Chyna Report, and Eric Roberts is stirring up drama in people’s travel plans! Then, it’s time to enter the kitchen for Lifetime’s Make or Bake Christmas. Even with Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, Caryn Richmond, and Corin Nemec, this movie is unhinged in the expectation that the people in this movie should have any business running a business. But when you’re a seasonal floater whose mom is excited that you’re doing espionage, it’s not exactly like you’ve had anyone setting good examples in your life. 

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

The Merry Gentlemen Find Themselves in a George Glass Menagerie Where Male Strippers Need to Unionize

Les, Kurt, and Jason return to the Netflix holiday well again after last week’s episode, this time for a look at The Merry Gentlemen. But first, Kurt has some Blac Chyna news about Tokyo Toni defending Puff Daddy seemingly only because the allegations against him are… not new. Then, the guys head to the The Rhythm Room to check out The Merry Gentlemen starring Chad Michael Murray, Britt Robertson, friend of the pod Meredith Thomas, Michael Gross, Beth Broderick, Marla Sokolof, and Maxwell Caulfield trying to navigate the insurance risks posed by a dancer with vertigo and stripper with a scalpel they way Meredith navigated a relationship with the guy that played Carla’s husband on Cheers. Get ready to be blown away by elaborate bar graphs taped to a chalkboard as Kurt writes a supplemental Emmy-worthy scene for Meredith. 

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Lacey Chabert Gets Her Monster’s Ball Moment by Bringing Hot Frosty the Snowman Austin Milligan to Life with a Red Scarf

Les, Kurt, and Jason are officially in their tax season as it’s now officially holiday movie time! But first, find out if Blac Chyna and Derrick Milano are signing a prenup and what someone named Suckafreeze thinks about it! Then it’s time to talk about Netflix’s latest salvo in the holiday movie viewership wars, Hot Frosty. Starring Hallmark royalty Lacey Chabert and Dustin Milligan (Ted from Schitt’s Creek), this movie may be Lacy’s Monster’s Ball because of her character’s mess of a housee (though they guys MAY be thinking of Charlize Theron’s “Monster” instead for this analogy). With a supporting cast that includes Lauren Holly, Craig Robinson, and Joe Lo Truglio, and Crishell Stause, this movie is like Splash… but with medical records in Comic Sans.  

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com  

Tori Spelling, Barry Watson, Seven of Nine, and a Co-Ed Call Girl Walk into a CBS TV Movie that Became a Lifetime Staple

Les, Kurt, and Jason decide to tackle a Lifetime classic, 1996’s Co-Ed Call Girl. While it didn’t originate on Lifetime (it first aired on CBS), it became associated with Lifetime as it went into heavy rotation as Lifetime leaned into movies about women in peril. Khloe Kardashian may be in peril after allegedly throwing shade at Blac Chyna! Then, it’s time for the guys to give Tori Spelling a ring cuz they’re looking for a Co-Ed Call Girl! The guys are quite concerned about this escort service’s business model (especially when it comes to spending one’s money on a pricey scarf that your mom will wear as she plays the cello for your prostitution clients! But even more pressing matters are at hand including the question of whether Leonard Bernstein was a bossy bottom and the eventual weekly procedural based on this movie called Dr. Call Girl. 

 

Facebook : lifetimeofhallmark

Instagram : lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

Threads: lifetimeofhallmarkpodcast

TikTok: lifetimeofhallmarkpod

Theme song generously donated by purple-planet.com