A Lifetime of Hallmark

Lindsay Lohan and Kristin Chenoweth Let a Little B**ch Altar Boy in on Our Little Secret, and it Looks a Lot Like the Head of Doris Roberts

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back for their first show of 2025, but have to catch up on their time away and of course the Wildfires in Los Angeles. 2025 has been the longest year ever, and we’re only halfway through January! Then Kurt delivers some Blac Chyna news that seems to point to there being plenty more Blac Chyna news for years to come! Then, even though the holidays are over, the guys are eager to talk about Netflix’s Lindsay Lohan and Kristin Chenoweth movie Our Little Secret. Could the movie have handled Dementia a bit more sensitively? Sure! Does the movie feature Stranger Things in a passing of time montage that should have become a full-on Netflix sizzle real? Also sure! With Tim Meadows, Chris Parnell, Deby Reyes, and Dan Bucatinsky and a douchey 18-ish Ronan Farrow (ish), this one is worth a watch. 

 

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A Nurse to Die For Better Watch Her Back Cuz Caryn Richman is a Badass Gidget

Les, Kurt, and Jason are incredibly excited to welcome special guest Caryn Richman @carynrichman) to this week’s show! Caryn isn’t just a regular fixture in the Lifetime cinematic universe, she is also part of the Brady and Gidget cinematic universes, too. Yes, the guys have LOTS of Brady questions for her, and yes Caryn is absolutely delighted to answer them all! Plus, now Caryn knows where to go for all things Blac Chyna related! Then, they talk about 2023’s Lifetime movie “A Nurse to Die For” which features some bad snooping, a bunch of burner phones being used to low-key audition for SNL, and Caryn in a truly badass role that actually sent her to the hospital in real life! This episode is a must listen!

 

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Homegoods and Nutella Help Danny Pellegrino Deck the Walls with Kate Casey

Les, Kurt, and Jason welcome back their friend Kate Casey from the Reality Life with Kate Casey Podcast. Not only is Kate an expert in all things reality and unscripted, but she's also friends with the writer and one of the stars of this week's movie, Hallmarks' Deck the Walls! But first, Kate and Les tell Jason and Kurt about Later Daters, then everyone talks about those mysterious drones that may or may not be aliens buying supplies at HomeGoods. Then, this week's Blac Chyna news sparks the question: What's up with all of these celebrities allegedly trafficking people?!?! Then it's time to dig into the movie, and talk about how exciting to see a fellow podcaster (Danny Pellegrino hosts Everything Iconic) writing and starring in a big Hallmark movie, a longtime dream of his! Sure there are precocious kids that are a little extra, but there's also sexual tension through cable knit sweaters and talk of therapy! And, we also learn that Kurt used to read Dan Savage and that Kate does not like being ambushed by a musical number. So brown your creme brule with a lighter (not a blow torch), because you've got a movie to watch!

 

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It’s a Make or Bake Christmas for Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, and Seasonal Floaters Who Shouldn’t be Doing Karaoke or Espionage

Les, Kurt, and Jason watched their first Lifetime movie this Holiday Season, but almost didn’t get to talk about it (thanks Mercury in retrograde!) But first, Jason had a onesie party, and Les got a Magic Bullet while Jason got a Jesus Ouija board! Plus, someone from Les’ church listens to our podcast, so they’ll be happy to know that Tokyo Toni was stirring up drama in Kurt’s Black Chyna Report, and Eric Roberts is stirring up drama in people’s travel plans! Then, it’s time to enter the kitchen for Lifetime’s Make or Bake Christmas. Even with Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, Caryn Richmond, and Corin Nemec, this movie is unhinged in the expectation that the people in this movie should have any business running a business. But when you’re a seasonal floater whose mom is excited that you’re doing espionage, it’s not exactly like you’ve had anyone setting good examples in your life. 

 

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The Merry Gentlemen Find Themselves in a George Glass Menagerie Where Male Strippers Need to Unionize

Les, Kurt, and Jason return to the Netflix holiday well again after last week’s episode, this time for a look at The Merry Gentlemen. But first, Kurt has some Blac Chyna news about Tokyo Toni defending Puff Daddy seemingly only because the allegations against him are… not new. Then, the guys head to the The Rhythm Room to check out The Merry Gentlemen starring Chad Michael Murray, Britt Robertson, friend of the pod Meredith Thomas, Michael Gross, Beth Broderick, Marla Sokolof, and Maxwell Caulfield trying to navigate the insurance risks posed by a dancer with vertigo and stripper with a scalpel they way Meredith navigated a relationship with the guy that played Carla’s husband on Cheers. Get ready to be blown away by elaborate bar graphs taped to a chalkboard as Kurt writes a supplemental Emmy-worthy scene for Meredith. 

 

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Lacey Chabert Gets Her Monster’s Ball Moment by Bringing Hot Frosty the Snowman Austin Milligan to Life with a Red Scarf

Les, Kurt, and Jason are officially in their tax season as it’s now officially holiday movie time! But first, find out if Blac Chyna and Derrick Milano are signing a prenup and what someone named Suckafreeze thinks about it! Then it’s time to talk about Netflix’s latest salvo in the holiday movie viewership wars, Hot Frosty. Starring Hallmark royalty Lacey Chabert and Dustin Milligan (Ted from Schitt’s Creek), this movie may be Lacy’s Monster’s Ball because of her character’s mess of a housee (though they guys MAY be thinking of Charlize Theron’s “Monster” instead for this analogy). With a supporting cast that includes Lauren Holly, Craig Robinson, and Joe Lo Truglio, and Crishell Stause, this movie is like Splash… but with medical records in Comic Sans.  

 

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Tori Spelling, Barry Watson, Seven of Nine, and a Co-Ed Call Girl Walk into a CBS TV Movie that Became a Lifetime Staple

Les, Kurt, and Jason decide to tackle a Lifetime classic, 1996’s Co-Ed Call Girl. While it didn’t originate on Lifetime (it first aired on CBS), it became associated with Lifetime as it went into heavy rotation as Lifetime leaned into movies about women in peril. Khloe Kardashian may be in peril after allegedly throwing shade at Blac Chyna! Then, it’s time for the guys to give Tori Spelling a ring cuz they’re looking for a Co-Ed Call Girl! The guys are quite concerned about this escort service’s business model (especially when it comes to spending one’s money on a pricey scarf that your mom will wear as she plays the cello for your prostitution clients! But even more pressing matters are at hand including the question of whether Leonard Bernstein was a bossy bottom and the eventual weekly procedural based on this movie called Dr. Call Girl. 

 

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Look Who’s Stalking A Surgeon This Halloween By Trrying to Escape An Onslaught of Truly Terrible Music by Offering a BOGO deal on Hospital Procedures

Les, Kurt, and Jason were all prepared for a guest that had to cancel, but that’s not gonna stop them from watching a movie that, based on its title, should be a lighthearted romp set at Halloween! But first, Les suggests people will be dressing as the Menendez Brothers this year, Jason wonders aloud if they have all officially reached “CBS Median Viewership Age,” and Kurt has some big news a bout Blac Chyna! Then, it’s time to go incognito by dressing in all black with the exception of a very bright red face mask (all the kids are doing it right now) for Lifetime’s 2023 Movie “Look Who’s Stalking.” The title was originally titled “Haunted by My Stalker” and frankly more descriptive of the movie rather than the final title which invoke the potential that Danny Devito may be providing a voice. So gather around the easily-exhumed body with your tuna casserole, we’re about to answer all of these unknown calls together. 

 

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Tom Sandoval, Meredith Thomas, and the New Gidget Are All Looking for A Nanny to Die For

Les, Kurt, and Jason are so excited to dig into a movie for Peacock! But first, the guys breakdown the Abe Lincoln documentary Lover of men, and find out that Les is friends with the guy that portrayed Abe in the reenactments. Then, in Blac Chyna news, the story about Twin Hector getting beat up gets (as Jason predicted) more violent and weird as Tokyo Toni wants the credit for it! Then they guys dig into Peacock’s A Nanny to Die for. This movie may have been released on Peacock, but it was made by the longtime Lifetime stalwarts at Hybrid, and it has many of the same Hallmarks (pun intended): multiple murders, a cold open, a psycho with a traumatic childhood, and just a hint of gaslighting! Get ready to go down rabbit holes (or is it’s sea holes? Or C-holes) about Caryn Richman, Hart to Hart, and Murray Langston! 

 

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Read Between the Lines (of Coke) - Falling Together is a Great PSA for Alzheimer’s Awareness

Les, Kurt, and Jason have gathered much like a bunch of leaves that have been raked into a pile against their will. But at least Kurt has Blac Chyna news that could follow a similar long-tail trajectory as past news stories about her making violent claims. Then, ready or not, the guys leave no leaf unturned as they dissect Hallmark’s Falling Together. Kurt has a pretty wild and prescient theory about the male lead, and that triggers a companion theory about the female lead (and movie at large) that involves a lot of gay coding, a whole lot of pie, and a whole huge heaping pile of cocaine. But an increased coke budget just comes with the territory of a new job that isn’t in Miami but that you have shown up for 6 weeks early. Open up your veiny eyes to watch this movie, unless you’re getting Mama’s Familied while you listen. 

 

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