A Lifetime of Hallmark

Homegoods and Nutella Help Danny Pellegrino Deck the Walls with Kate Casey

Les, Kurt, and Jason welcome back their friend Kate Casey from the Reality Life with Kate Casey Podcast. Not only is Kate an expert in all things reality and unscripted, but she's also friends with the writer and one of the stars of this week's movie, Hallmarks' Deck the Walls! But first, Kate and Les tell Jason and Kurt about Later Daters, then everyone talks about those mysterious drones that may or may not be aliens buying supplies at HomeGoods. Then, this week's Blac Chyna news sparks the question: What's up with all of these celebrities allegedly trafficking people?!?! Then it's time to dig into the movie, and talk about how exciting to see a fellow podcaster (Danny Pellegrino hosts Everything Iconic) writing and starring in a big Hallmark movie, a longtime dream of his! Sure there are precocious kids that are a little extra, but there's also sexual tension through cable knit sweaters and talk of therapy! And, we also learn that Kurt used to read Dan Savage and that Kate does not like being ambushed by a musical number. So brown your creme brule with a lighter (not a blow torch), because you've got a movie to watch!

 

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It’s a Make or Bake Christmas for Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, and Seasonal Floaters Who Shouldn’t be Doing Karaoke or Espionage

Les, Kurt, and Jason watched their first Lifetime movie this Holiday Season, but almost didn’t get to talk about it (thanks Mercury in retrograde!) But first, Jason had a onesie party, and Les got a Magic Bullet while Jason got a Jesus Ouija board! Plus, someone from Les’ church listens to our podcast, so they’ll be happy to know that Tokyo Toni was stirring up drama in Kurt’s Black Chyna Report, and Eric Roberts is stirring up drama in people’s travel plans! Then, it’s time to enter the kitchen for Lifetime’s Make or Bake Christmas. Even with Vivica A. Fox, Jackee Harry, Meredith Thomas, Caryn Richmond, and Corin Nemec, this movie is unhinged in the expectation that the people in this movie should have any business running a business. But when you’re a seasonal floater whose mom is excited that you’re doing espionage, it’s not exactly like you’ve had anyone setting good examples in your life. 

 

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The Merry Gentlemen Find Themselves in a George Glass Menagerie Where Male Strippers Need to Unionize

Les, Kurt, and Jason return to the Netflix holiday well again after last week’s episode, this time for a look at The Merry Gentlemen. But first, Kurt has some Blac Chyna news about Tokyo Toni defending Puff Daddy seemingly only because the allegations against him are… not new. Then, the guys head to the The Rhythm Room to check out The Merry Gentlemen starring Chad Michael Murray, Britt Robertson, friend of the pod Meredith Thomas, Michael Gross, Beth Broderick, Marla Sokolof, and Maxwell Caulfield trying to navigate the insurance risks posed by a dancer with vertigo and stripper with a scalpel they way Meredith navigated a relationship with the guy that played Carla’s husband on Cheers. Get ready to be blown away by elaborate bar graphs taped to a chalkboard as Kurt writes a supplemental Emmy-worthy scene for Meredith. 

 

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Lacey Chabert Gets Her Monster’s Ball Moment by Bringing Hot Frosty the Snowman Austin Milligan to Life with a Red Scarf

Les, Kurt, and Jason are officially in their tax season as it’s now officially holiday movie time! But first, find out if Blac Chyna and Derrick Milano are signing a prenup and what someone named Suckafreeze thinks about it! Then it’s time to talk about Netflix’s latest salvo in the holiday movie viewership wars, Hot Frosty. Starring Hallmark royalty Lacey Chabert and Dustin Milligan (Ted from Schitt’s Creek), this movie may be Lacy’s Monster’s Ball because of her character’s mess of a housee (though they guys MAY be thinking of Charlize Theron’s “Monster” instead for this analogy). With a supporting cast that includes Lauren Holly, Craig Robinson, and Joe Lo Truglio, and Crishell Stause, this movie is like Splash… but with medical records in Comic Sans.  

 

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Tori Spelling, Barry Watson, Seven of Nine, and a Co-Ed Call Girl Walk into a CBS TV Movie that Became a Lifetime Staple

Les, Kurt, and Jason decide to tackle a Lifetime classic, 1996’s Co-Ed Call Girl. While it didn’t originate on Lifetime (it first aired on CBS), it became associated with Lifetime as it went into heavy rotation as Lifetime leaned into movies about women in peril. Khloe Kardashian may be in peril after allegedly throwing shade at Blac Chyna! Then, it’s time for the guys to give Tori Spelling a ring cuz they’re looking for a Co-Ed Call Girl! The guys are quite concerned about this escort service’s business model (especially when it comes to spending one’s money on a pricey scarf that your mom will wear as she plays the cello for your prostitution clients! But even more pressing matters are at hand including the question of whether Leonard Bernstein was a bossy bottom and the eventual weekly procedural based on this movie called Dr. Call Girl. 

 

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Look Who’s Stalking A Surgeon This Halloween By Trrying to Escape An Onslaught of Truly Terrible Music by Offering a BOGO deal on Hospital Procedures

Les, Kurt, and Jason were all prepared for a guest that had to cancel, but that’s not gonna stop them from watching a movie that, based on its title, should be a lighthearted romp set at Halloween! But first, Les suggests people will be dressing as the Menendez Brothers this year, Jason wonders aloud if they have all officially reached “CBS Median Viewership Age,” and Kurt has some big news a bout Blac Chyna! Then, it’s time to go incognito by dressing in all black with the exception of a very bright red face mask (all the kids are doing it right now) for Lifetime’s 2023 Movie “Look Who’s Stalking.” The title was originally titled “Haunted by My Stalker” and frankly more descriptive of the movie rather than the final title which invoke the potential that Danny Devito may be providing a voice. So gather around the easily-exhumed body with your tuna casserole, we’re about to answer all of these unknown calls together. 

 

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Tom Sandoval, Meredith Thomas, and the New Gidget Are All Looking for A Nanny to Die For

Les, Kurt, and Jason are so excited to dig into a movie for Peacock! But first, the guys breakdown the Abe Lincoln documentary Lover of men, and find out that Les is friends with the guy that portrayed Abe in the reenactments. Then, in Blac Chyna news, the story about Twin Hector getting beat up gets (as Jason predicted) more violent and weird as Tokyo Toni wants the credit for it! Then they guys dig into Peacock’s A Nanny to Die for. This movie may have been released on Peacock, but it was made by the longtime Lifetime stalwarts at Hybrid, and it has many of the same Hallmarks (pun intended): multiple murders, a cold open, a psycho with a traumatic childhood, and just a hint of gaslighting! Get ready to go down rabbit holes (or is it’s sea holes? Or C-holes) about Caryn Richman, Hart to Hart, and Murray Langston! 

 

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Read Between the Lines (of Coke) - Falling Together is a Great PSA for Alzheimer’s Awareness

Les, Kurt, and Jason have gathered much like a bunch of leaves that have been raked into a pile against their will. But at least Kurt has Blac Chyna news that could follow a similar long-tail trajectory as past news stories about her making violent claims. Then, ready or not, the guys leave no leaf unturned as they dissect Hallmark’s Falling Together. Kurt has a pretty wild and prescient theory about the male lead, and that triggers a companion theory about the female lead (and movie at large) that involves a lot of gay coding, a whole lot of pie, and a whole huge heaping pile of cocaine. But an increased coke budget just comes with the territory of a new job that isn’t in Miami but that you have shown up for 6 weeks early. Open up your veiny eyes to watch this movie, unless you’re getting Mama’s Familied while you listen. 

 

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Before Will & Harper, Will Ferrell and Harper Steele Encountered A Deadly Adoption with Kristen Wiig

^{Les, Kurt, and Jason may have found the perfect movie to suit their collective sensibilities, 2015’s A Deadly Adoption. Part true-to-form Lifetime movie, part inside joke (that not everybody was in on), part dramatic showcase for Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig, Ferrell’s passion project written by Harper Steele gets a look from the guys in light of his and Steele’s current spectacular and very moving Netflix documentary Will & Harper. Blac Chyna is also moving people to tears with her heartfelt conversation with daughter Dream about her appearance insecurity. But Will & Harper & Blac Chyna have nothing on the emotional rollercoaster of A Deadly Adoption’s wild tale about a financial author-lothario, his neglected wife, their moronic daughter with diabetes named after the pilot who landed on the Hudson, the woman they welcome into their lives in hopes of having another baby.} 

 

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A Poor Man’s Keanu Reeves, A Dollar Store Connie Britton, and A Dime Store Paul Giamatti Covene at My Killer Reunion

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back with a packed show! There’s Blac Chyna’s pivot to fitness! There’s Eric Roberts (past) smack talk about Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias. There’s a Candace Cameron Bure sighting! There’s Matlock, with a (big) twist! There’s an Oscar winner being confused for a high profile prostitute! There’s improv class driving! There’s surge pricing to get to an attempted murder scene! There’s Vicki Lawrence becoming Ryan Murphy’s new Sarah Paulson! There’s people being conceived to Mama’s Family and LMFAO’s Shots! And, most critically, you may now use the phrase “Mama’s Family-ed” as a verb   for having sex. 

 

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