A Lifetime of Hallmark

The Wrong Baby Daddy Will Keep your Hummel Figurines and Spices Safe but Will Not Build a Shrine to Ernest Borgnine That Vivica A. Fox and Caryn Richman Aren't Gonna See

Les, Kurt, and Jason gather once again, and Les is called out immediately for his notes being visible on camera. Also visible on camera: the gash next to Jason’s left eyebrow after he ate it on his wet kitchen floor. If you’re confused by Jason and Les’ voices, you might be among those that think they sound alike! Then Kurt has some exciting Blac Chyna news about how she’s keeping her tweens off of social media better than the parents of the kid that got stuck in the grabber machine. Finally, the guys get to this week’s Lifetime movie The Wrong Baby Daddy starts off with some good old-fashioned chloroform and introduces a whole lot of boundary issues both on and off the screen. On screen you have couples moving in with other just weeks into a relationship with a co-worker, and off-screen you have cute twinks that may have gotten their parts in the movie because their parents own the house. Be like Les when he thinks boundaries are being crossed: “I mind my business, within reason.” Unless you suspect that your neighbor is stealing all your mail order bats. 

 

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Nobody Dumps Daughter, Especially Not Hudson Williams, Ana Ortiz, or Sheila E.

Les, Kurt, and Jason are back after a few weeks off for only their second episode of 2026! But hey, there’s a lot going on including Kurt getting snowed in on the east coast while Les and Jason enjoy summer temps on the west coast. Next, the guys mourn the loss of the incredible Catherine O’Hara (and Uncle Floyd) and Kurt has some Blac Chyna news aka Tokyo Toni news and let’s just say… Toni’s beefing with someone again. Then the guys are ready to watch a movie that they thought might have a little bit more screen time for Heated Rivalry star Hudson Williams, Lifetime’s “inspired by true events” movie Nobody Dumps My Daughter. Les is certain that if crossed paths with the mother in this movie (Ana Ortiz from Ugly Betty), that they would have FOUGHT. But really the only person anyone tries to fight in this movie is Sheila E’s fortune teller Anna because everybody seems to be very unhappy with their readings. But in a world where a fortune teller operating out of the back of a hair salon seemingly works on Net 60 payment terms, it still comes as a shock that this movie references the very real early 90’s movie “Another Pair of Aces” starring Kris Kristofferson and Willie Nelson and directed by Bill Bixby aka The Incredible Hulk. 

 

 

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Two Lesbians and The Christmas Baby Start Accidentally Selling Mary Kay Cosmetics to Compete on America’s Next Top Lesbian Skarsgård

Les, Kurt, and Jason may not be Golden Globe-nominated (this year), but that’s not keeping them from being happy for having healthy relationships with exes after a breakup, just like Blac Chyna may or may not be having. Then, they dive in with the fish to swim with Hallmark’s The Christmas Baby. Blame the many fish references on the stereotype-filled script that also includes lots of woodworking, a love of cats, and… the theater! In spite of the stereotypes, we’re also served some new archetypes: a Paul Lynde-lite type who turns out to be nice, and a couple of mothers-in-law that are thick as thieves. So, don’t live your life in fear o being afraid: instead of an Eskimo kiss, kiss your partner with the full force of your tongue as a baby is squeezed in between you.

 

 

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A Make Or Break Holiday is Enjoyable Even Though It’s Filled with a Bunch of Insufferable People Who Are All There For the Gag Bag

Les, Kurt, and Jason are here to celebrate the season with another Hallmark holiday movie, Make or Break Holiday. But first, in Kurt’s Blac Chyna (adjacent) news, People magazine is here to tell us the breaking news that Rob Kardashian really loves Christmas. #Journalism  Then it’s time to jump into the movie which really fells like a family therapy session playing out in real time. The insane self-inflicted pressures of family dynamics means that we get a big kiss right when the couple meets and things devolve from there and will make some question if sodomy is still a thing (it is, as are sequin jackets). You won’t just get the turkey you asked for this holiday, you’ll also get the gag bag!

 

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Vivica A. Fox, Jackee, and Meredith Thomas Wage The Christmas Campaign to Get Everyone to Flout HR Protocol

Les, Kurt, and Jason finally start recording the podcast after a series of technical mishaps and after an eyeball from Kurt that is so epic it is broken up into a two-parter. Then, we hear about Les’ very frantic attempt to attend 7 holiday parties in one night where Jason’s party was on the chopping block block. Jason also talks about Rob Reiner’s pivotal role in the legalization of same sex marriage, and in throwback Blac Chyna news, Kurt shares a 2023 story about Tokyo Toni screaming about how Alexa won’t shut the f**k up. Then, it’s time for Lifetime’s The Christmas Campaign, a movie that could easily be used as those HR training videos that show you inappropriate scenarios to avoid if it weren’t for the presence of Frederick Douglass in a truly wild but well-cast cameo. Speaking of HR, you probably shouldn’t listen to this episode out loud at work unless you want your co-workers to hear about Linda Hunt boners, Reindeer Cocoa, and the scotch that is older than the very young participants in a focus group and what they’re being exposed to. 

 

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Holiday Touchdown A Bills Love Story Does Not Star Tony Danza or THAT Chris Brown

Les, Kurt, and Jason are here to talk about Hallmark’s Holiday Touchdown A Bills Love Story, but Les hasn’t even watched the movie that he made Jason and Kurt watch! But Les is somewhat forgiven after recounting his very long day. Then Jason announces that Kurt’s Turkey Trot 5K time was better than Les’, so Les is now forced to denounce all things Sarah Jessica Parker (though he only offers a full-throated denouncement of Sex and the City 2). Plus, in Blac Chyna news, there are rumblings she may be back together with Rob Kardashian! Then, it’s time for Hallmark’s latest NFL-adjacent movie which is heavy on cameos from former and current Buffalo Bills players and light on acting lessons for them. But with so many familiar faces for Bills fans and so many different rubbings in a car at night, this movie is charming in its propaganda to legitimize a stadium boondoggle. 

 

As the actors onscreen are living seemingly picturesque lives in the movies talked about on this podcast, it can also make this time of year especially challenging to navigate. If you or someone you know is struggling, The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress by dialing 988. 

 

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All’s Fair from Ryan Murphy and starring Kim Kardashian, Sarah Paulson, Glenn Close, Niecy Nash, and Naomi Watts Gives the Park Ranger Academy of the Dramatic Arts Their Biggest Hit Yet

Les, Kurt, and Jason are ready to fight the moment the podcast starts, and the fighting is livelier than any on screen in Hulu’s original series “All’s Fair.” But first, there’s no Blac Chyna report, but that’s only because Kurt has an update on Wendy Williams! Then, it’s time for the guys to (try to) unpack Ryan Murphy’s new series starring Kim Kardashian, Sarah Paulson, Naomi Watts, Niecy Nash Betts, and Glenn Close (with guest stars Judith Light, Grace Gummer, and Kate Berlant). Despite a stunning lineup of talented actresses, All’s Fair is built around Kim Kardashian, and it… would make the Park Ranger proud. But it’s not Kim’s acting that’s the main problem, here. The bigger issue is the writing that is both over-the-top and under-explained (unless we’re to believe that Kim is a super rich and successful lawyer that also may be driving Uber on the side). If you want a super long tangent about the over abundance of indentured servitude in sitcoms, than you have come to the right place. 

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The Boarding School Murders is The Facts of Life Told from Jo’s Point of View Where Blair Dies

Les, Kurt, and Jason catch up on Les’ time in the UK including many costume parties and many sheep. Plus, Jason couldn’t find orange hair spray, so he had to make Chucky a grown up gay, and Kurt has some very serious sounding news from the world of Blac Chyna and Tokyo Toni. Then, the guys go down several Mr. Belvedere and Benson rabbit holes (since ABC had a whole comedy block devoted to butlers in the 80’s). They guys would rather talk about those 80’s sitcoms than The Facts of Life since Lifetime’s The Boarding School Murders is more like the BORED-ing school Murders with it’s sleepy sexless Facts of Life vibes, Park Ranger Academy for the Dramatic Arts roster of so many accents, and a poor-man’s Colonel Klink from Hogan’s Heroes. 

 

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The Groomsmen Last Dance is One More Chance for Tyler Hynes, Jonathan Bennett, and B.J. Britt and other Hallmark Stars to Warn You Not to Fall for Scams as You Fall on Olive Oil In the Can

Les, Kurt, and Jason back and Les is bursting with enthusiasm! And why wouldn’t he be when he finds out Kurt is leaning into his brand as a cake guy (who still needs to try Plops, according to Jason). Kurt’s eventual one man murder mystery show definitely needs to include death by cake pop. Or perhaps the show could involve bruises, blows to the body, and a gun to the temple (all new details learned this week in the ever-evolving years-old fight between Blac Chyna and Rob Kardashian)! Then, the guys head to the altar one more time for Hallmark’s The Groomsmen Last Dance (because they may not be able to have any more dances on that oily floor caused by a leaky can. The rules are simple: If you have a leaky can, you need to get remote work…. and they just happen to be hiring at David Copperfield’s Lamb Chop Museum. 

 

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Jonathan Bennett, Tyler Hynes, B.J. Britt, and (probably) a Smelly Phillie Phanatic (offscreen) are Back to Give The Groomsmen Second Chances

Les, Kurt, and Jason recorded this episode on the day of the Full Supermoon which gives Kurt extra zing. He may have had a TON of zing back when his professor made him read Waiting for Godot (which would have been pure hell for Les). Plus, Blac Chyna speculates on possible career paths for daughter Dream despite the fact that she’s already recorded her first single (but the music has to be IN you, not ON you). Then the guys get hitched to Hallmark’s The Groomsmen Second Chances, the second of their (so far) really great trilogy.  There’s even an Aunt Gert-coded character in Ophelia Papodapolis, and we’d rather watch Gert and Ophelia cliff jump than watch the rock climbing wall bachelor party. 

 

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