A Lifetime of Hallmark

Zabruder’s Hearts of Winter Aren’t Broken, but the Beloved Bowl Sure Is

February 8, 2020

Les tells Kurt and Jason about meeting his long-lost relative who happens to be an Instagram star and Guinnes World Record Holder known as @thebalanceguru, and we learn that Kurt thinks that you need to send semen to Ancestry.com. It was also a big week in pop culture (Les confonts a woke-ish friend on social media about the Super Bowl halftime show), politics (look it up), and Blac Chyna news (she owes $72,000 to a former landlord). All of this build-up is just the guys avoiding doing a recap of Hearts of Winter, a Hallmark movie that proves once again that we've been ruined by the excellence that was Killer Contractor. Sure, we all learn what it means when a couple is being shipped, but all the old-timey camcorders and Larry Wilcox references can't make this movie more interesting to The Masked Singer.

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