A Lifetime of Hallmark

It’s Wedding Bells for Danica McKellar, but all Bruce Boxleitner Got Was This Ponzi Scheme Greeting Card from Hallmark

May 5, 2020

Les, Kurt, and Jason are about to take on the Horniest Hallmark Movie ever (by Hallmark standards), but first we find out that Kurt has finally watched the Fyre Festival documentary on Netflix... and a video of Blac Chyna twerking on OnlyFans. This leads Jason to the realization that pole dancing is way easier in outer space (no gravity!). All this talk of porn sites and pole dancing makes the guys realize it's time to talk about a Hallmark movie, 2016's Wedding Bells starring Danica McKellar. Luckily, Kurt thinks he's ok with Danica now after not wanting to give Danica her due on an earlier episode of this podcast ("Christmas at Dollywood is a Chance to Debate the Merits of Peppermint vs. Wint-O-Green"). We find out that Danica's character had a disturbing childhood filled with diet foods and (we assume) a philandering father, but not as disturbing as her love interest whose dad is torn between being played by Bruce Boxleitner (The Scarecrow and Mrs. King) and Gil Gerard (Buck Rogers). Les is not fulfilled by the movies many many montages as none of them include dressing up and twirling, so the guys all realize that they need to find the zen of Petticoat Junction... followed by 20 minutes of nationally televised dry humping. 

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